Addict…

While flying through the crystal blue sky, watching the clouds beneath, and listening to music, I can’t help but do one of those “serious song look out the window and pretend you’re in a music video,” things people seem to do. (If you say you’ve never done it, I don’t believe you xD) Maybe it’s the song, maybe it’s just because my mind has been racing a million miles an hour since my feet first left the ground, who knows. But there I am, just looking out the window, really paying attention to the lyrics that resonate in my crystal white headphones.

Who knows, maybe it’s me obsessing (in all honesty I probably am so I need to find a way to stop…). But I cannot stop thinking. I cannot make my mind go blank for the life of me. I feel like I keep on trying, but nothing is working… ever get that feeling? Is it bad? Is it bad to constantly think about things, memories, people, events, places…? It feels like an obsession that I just cannot shake. I keep trying, honestly I try (maybe I’m not trying hard enough). Maybe I need to stop putting myself into these situations and just learn to let go.

But is it all that bad? Is it bad to revel at the memory? To think about you? To want you here with me? How much harm is that doing to myself, if any? Is it my nature to cling? To want to be near? I think so… I’m addicted.. o.o

Fresh Air…

Let’s all just take a second from our busy lives to stop and take a deep breath. How did that feel? Amazing no? Filling your lungs with air and then slowly releasing it into the atmosphere. There’s not much that can give you that sensation. To me, it almost feels like there’s a weight being lifted from my shoulders, or a small tug at the heart strings.

It’s like finally being at peace after a huge storm. It’s something I feel that many people take for granted, or maybe just don’t think about taking the time to stop their busy and complicated lives to do. We need air to breathe, so why don’t more people stop to enjoy the sensation of being alive?

That leads me to think though, what is it to feel alive? Is it waking up every morning to the sunrise? Is it going to work everyday? Is it just the fact that your heart beats on a daily basis and never stops?

To me, it’s a little more complex. It’s a combination of everything and then some. I’m of the belief that you should welcome those experiences that allow you to feel the way you do when you take that second to experience a deep breath. To relax your senses and just live in that moment in time. Who knows, maybe it’s a car, a person, a pet, or a place that makes you feel that way. Maybe it’s something entirely different. Either way, try your hardest to keep that feeling in your life. It’s there for a reason, no?

Here’s an example for you, and maybe I still wont even begin to get my thoughts and feelings across after I’m all done xD
Let’s say that your thing that makes you feel alive is a person. Every time you see that person you lose your senses. They seem to take over you, in a good way, obviously. You feel light as air and are at an all time high. They look at you a certain way and it just makes you this light and airy person you never thought you could be. They make you laugh even when you didn’t think it was possible. They bring you back down to earth when you are in the fits of rage.  Somehow, this person has made you feel alive. When you think of them or are with them, you can actually feel your heart flutter a way that you never thought would have been possible. They make you FEEL. What then?

I think that’s why it’s so easy to get attached to people, places, and things. They make us all feel a certain way. A certain way that we didn’t think was possible because of everything that we’re going through on a daily basis. I know that’s why I get attached at least. I become an addict of the endorphins. I become an addict of the way my heart flutters even by the slightest sign of someone caring enough to take the time to know me. It’s who I am. I love all things that make me feel alive. I’m an addict of being able to breathe fresh air in the middle of the smoggy sensation that everyday life brings.

So I’m going to revel in those moments that bring me complete bliss. The conversations, the looks, the smiles, the car rides, everything. Why wouldn’t I? It’s my fresh air… you are my fresh air… Whether that’s smart or not is something entirely different, but oh well, it’s alright. I’ll grow and learn, I am just intoxicated by the feeling of having a breath of fresh air.

 

Kaleidoscope

Let’s take a second to try out experiencing some nostalgia. Take a deep breath and let’s go back to a time where there were no worries for anything. You had no care in the world. The only thing you wanted more than anything was getting older or even just that lollipop that your mom was making you wait to have until after dinner. Everything around you was a mystery. Some things made more sense than others, and that was okay.

How many of you remember that small little plastic kaleidoscope that you usually got in party gift bags? Or maybe yours was more elaborate? Remember looking inside of it and just watching all the colors, the shapes, and just the light dance within? How everything seemed so beautiful and delicate? How everything changed with the turn of a knob or a change in the direction of the kaleidoscope?

I feel like that’s something that can be said about every day life. Especially in terms of situations and the people that come into your life. One day everything can be bright and glittery, and the next everything could throw you for a loop. People can become something you rely on for a sudden thrill, a small flutter of the heart, or even just someone taking you down a spiral fall.

Is it worth it? Is it worth the parade of pretty colors, the glitter, the lights? Can you put up with the darkness that could follow behind? Or is it something that will leave you unbearable? Will you be miserable just overthinking, turning situations into something they are not? Feeling your breath escape from your lungs? Is it worth the ride?

In all honesty, I can say that it is. Even if someone or something comes into your life just to turn everything upside down, go with it. Don’t hold back yourself for fear of being rejected, pushed away. let go, or even forgotten. Who cares? In all reality, we all use people for our own selfish desires. Whether that’s for a small moment of joy or a feeling of satisfaction.

I may be completely contradicting myself, and I know that this could easily be the case. But new experiences bring new wisdom.  I’d never agree to letting people in who are willing to harm you. Never let those people in. Never let people in who are willing to do anything possible to try to bury you. They aren’t worth the effort.

Everyone else though should be welcomed with open arms. Spend your time, whether that’s short or long, your all with them. Don’t hold back on anything you feel, anything you think. Be you. If they can’t accept you for who you are, that’s their loss. You have nothing to lose. Let them teach you about new ways to see the world. Take the journey, let them fill your life with glitter, even if it is for only a moment. Let them teach you about the joys of living, the wonder of the butterflies that fill your tummy, and the ride. Enjoy the ride when you can, and revel in the fact that you took the time to enjoy the kaleidoscope.

Flip flops VS Louboutin

As I sit in the lobby watching the fire dance in the brick fireplace, I sit here and think about how much my life has changed throughout the years. I’m reminded of this daily every time I catch the sparkle coming from my left hand. Sure, my life has had it’s ups and downs, people have come, and people have gone. And still that doesn’t faze me. Life is such a temporary thing, why would one want to just spend it worrying about the little insignificant obstacles that cross our path.

Take a shoe for instance (yes, I’m still obsessed <3). You go into a store and find the absolutely perfect shoe. It’s in your size, and it fits like it was made for you. You wear it constantly, pair it with the skinniest of skinny jeans, or the frilliest of skirts. But what happens when that shoe starts to wear down and is basically unusable?  Well, we do have options here. You can either A.) find a repair shop and get the shoe fixed (personally I would only go this route if the shoe is really beneficial to your everyday life), or B.) just toss the shoe out and go and get yourself another pair.

Sure, everyone has their own taste in shoes. Some like a simple pair of sneakers to run around daily, some prefer a cute little flat, and others go for the heels.

I stumbled across a quote the other day that went something along the lines of, “You can’t act like a flip flop and expect to be treated like a Louboutin,” speaks to me on so many different levels. I work in an industry where I’m in constant contact with people, so I have seen my fair share of flip flops around. But what makes up for them are the Louboutins. They are the ones that can easily put a smile on my face and make my day a little better just by being nice. (shocker I know!)

(I know this has gone all over the place today. So many things going on at once, but that’s ok)

I guess where I’m going at with this, is this, get rid of any clutter you have in your life. You don’t need shoes that are just going to put up with you for a bit and then give out on you. Look for those Louboutins even if they are harder to find. Those are the shoes that will make the best impact in your life.

So when you’re strutting down that aisle on your big day, take a deep breath of relief knowing that everyone surrounding you is that Louboutin. Give your grandparents a big hug because you know they are always there behind you supporting everything you do, and another for your mom and dad. Laugh with your sisters because yes, you are all getting older right before your eyes. And revel in the joining of two families. You’ve gotten this far, you can conquer anything. Don’t ever let a pair of flip flops take that away from you. ♥

Holiday Notion

It’s finally starting to get close to that time of the year again! That warm, cozy, sit by the fireplace and drink a cup of hot chocolate kind of time. ^.^

 
Seeing all of these decorations as I sit here really takes me to a place that I really enjoy. It’s a place where I can sit back and feel so much merriment. From the soft and lush tree skirt, to the clicking of the twinkling Christmas lights strung around the tree, it reminds me of home.

I think about all of the happiness those who surround me share. The feeling of having my family work together and still continue to thrive with each passing day. Seeing my sisters grow before my eyes and becoming amazed at the young women they are becoming. To the family game nights we have, even if they are scattered here and there. To knowing that no matter what, I know that someone will always have my back in times of hardship.

There are people out there who care. People who matter, and people who take the time to go through this crazy thing we all call life with you. Those are the people I cherish. Those who grow with you through the hard times, and who can sit back and laugh about everything you’ve been though with you. Those who you are comfortable being yourself around.

I think about my family. No matter how big or small that may become, I know I will always have them. My amazing boyfriend fiancé who continues to amaze me every day. There are my sisters who drive me crazy at times, but I would stand behind and defend no matter the cost. My parents who can be hardheaded, just like me. My grandparents for being their feisty selves and who I miss terribly. My aunt who is absolutely stunning with her long dark hair and uncle who seems to resemble Antonio Banderas, who I hardly see anymore because of distance, but whenever they are around I know there will be plenty of laughs to fill the night.

I feel like a child again waiting for Christmas Eve to finally sneak up. All of the planning, the prepping, and indecisive moments I’ve had just this past week alone makes me want it to be here already. I cannot wait for the day where we all get together to enjoy this moment of time with one another.

This holiday season pull up a loved one and just enjoy each other’s company. Life is too short to be wasted away on trivial things that happen throughout it. Keep those who you cherish the most near, and let everyone else be who they want to be. Life can be a wonderful thing if you surround yourself with people who care. ♥